This Morning London 5 April 2012
Every day, I aim towards piecing my life together. I know it takes time and patience, and that I need to monitor myself on a daily basis. I have become my own ‘subject’, life – coach and psychologist all at once. For the past five days I have been feeling quite down, depressed actually. It is very frustrating to want to do so MUCH and to realise that for one reason or another you can’t (not at that precise moment). Since starting my journey of self-discovery I took up the habit of writing everyday on my journal sometimes I write in Spanish (which is my first language) and sometimes in English. This morning I wrote in Spanish but I want to translate it and share it with you my dear reader. This is what I wrote:
Sometimes we want to fly before we can walk, sometimes we want to reach the chasm of heaven, when we are unable to reach the chasm of our own beings. In this journey that is called life, we encounter many stops, everyone of those stops seeks to provide us with a valuable teaching, with a tool that we’ll need for the journey. But sometimes we don’t want to, or we don’t know how to advance, and we stay stuck at that stop that becomes, eternal, boring and at times unbearable. But it is our own incapacity to learn, to take that tool, thank the stop; and move on our way forward into the journey of self-discovery that keeps us stuck.
This morning before I got up, I was analysing myself, realising my own mistakes – and of course. I became aware that everything lies in me, that I am the only person that can improve my life. For five days I’ve been feeling depressed, disoriented, and confused. And only today I came to understand the reasons why…………………
I also learned today that the past and the future do not exist, what exists is ‘time’, eternal time, it continues even when we are not longer here. We will always and only ever have the PRESENT, this beautiful gift in which we ought to carry out all our plans, an use it to the fullest, making every minute of this beautiful gift count. Perhaps I’m not making much sense today, and it doesn’t really matter. You can take this writing, if you wish, as a stream of consciousness, or as the personal thoughts of a woman in her way to self-discovery. After so many years of emotional coma, and traumatic illness, is not easy to piece my life together. But I’m hopeful and determined. I am taking each day at the time. Walking and learning with patience and love, for my life, for those around me, and for the universe. My message to those who are going through a similar process of self-discovery as I am, is to see this as an amazing gift from God, who is giving us the opportunity to evolve to a deeper level of awareness and consciousness. I wish you all a marvellous day! and I’ll leave you with a song.
For those that speak Spanish:
And for those that speak English (or you can watch them both!)