After the Tempest…
Of my raging thoughts I have woken up today determined not to give up on myself. Life will throw many things at you but the minute you stop believing in yourself and in your capacity to override the highest waves, that’s when you enter a dangerous territory.
So what’s my problem? That I spend a whole life caring about other people and forgetting the most important person in my life, me. It might be hard to believe there are people out there like me, that put others first, but there are. I know I’m not the only one who has taken a back seat and allowed others to drive on the main seat. Upon reflection this isn’t a very pleasant thing to realise about yourself that you have taken yourself for granted. And of course when I say “you” I mean me. The positive thing though, about realising that I have spend my whole life living for others and not living my own life, is that I get to start all over again each brand new day. Learning to take the wheel of my life is fascinating, a journey of self discovery that I know for a fact will lead me to happiness.
Today I went for a run at my local park- Queens Park. Seeing the beautiful winter colours mingled amongst the leaves and tress gave me such a positive feeling. Today I runned more than usual, I guess it was all that stress I needed to release, and I did and it felt great! When I think of my goals one of them is to lose weight, and for the first time in many years, I’m finally managing to lose weight and it feels great AMAZING. As I was running today at the park, for some reason Churchill’s words came into my mind “Never, ever ever ever ever give up” simple words but very encouraging. So if Winston Churchill did not give up in the face of difficulty during the Second World War, and managed to secure the victory over the Nazi Germany, who was I to give up on my own life and the pursuit of my dreams. I
love reading and I always have since I was 8 years old. I find so much inspiration and knowledge in books is like seeing the world through different eyes, and savouring different experiences and sensations. My passion for literature and my faith in God has seen me through the roughest times in my life. I don’t know if I have shared this with you or not but I am a writer. I don’t like to use the phrase “I want to be a writer” because it appears to me as if you can only become A WRITER once you publish a book, which of course I want as well. But being a writer is a way of life, a way of seeing and perceiving the world. My conversation with you dear reader is probably coming across as very disjointly as I move from one topic to the next, or from one idea to another. But I must remind you that this is my diary – my public diary. It helps me to document my life, and my progress or lack of it.
I want to thank you for being part of my journey. I feel your support through your readership and it stimulates me to keep on going, to keep on writing and to be frank and sincere about my feelings and life.
Now I’m going to practise some yoga as it really helps me to concentrate and to feel at one with myself. The plan is also, to do some writing today and keep up as a discipline, apply for work and make an organized list of places to visit in London so that I make the most of my free time.