Wouldn’t it Be Wonderful to Learn from Experience?
Imagine the heart aches, disappointments, tears and sadness we would not have in our lives if we learned from experiences. Be it our own experience or that of others?
Unfortunately we stubborn humans don’t quite learn like that in a lineal way. Instead we prefer to hit our heads many times against the wall until we either bleed to death or become too weak to function.
Recently I’ve had my heart broken more times than I can actually count, I’m surprised I am still standing, with the courage to write and move on with my life. I have played the fool many times, trusting people too easily, giving my friendship away to the wrong people or simply giving WAY too much. The result has always been the same – I get stubbed at the back, and my kindness gets taken for weakness. Unfortunately in this world we live in, not everyone is what they seem to be. You can see someone’s pretty face or smile, but you have no idea what lies behind that smile, or what intentions are hidden in that person’s heart. Someone remains a stranger until you get to know them properly and try their character in different situations and contexts. We should hook to our other sensory devices such as our intuition and inner voice, most people (specially men) tend to focus just on the visual. If she is pretty or he is handsome, if he/she dresses well or seems smiley or friendly. PEOPLE, anyone can dress well or pretend to be nice but the truth is that if you are buying or renting an apartment, you would want to find out absolutely everything you can about the location, amenities etc.. Also if you’re applying for a job you look, at the salary, career prospects, insurance and a bunch of other important things!
If you are hired somewhere (in London at least) usually you go through a trial period to see if you are suitable for the job, and if the job is suitable for you. My question is, why don’t some of us less wise people don’t do the same when it comes friends and relationships!? which honestly constitutes a very important part of our lives! When your best friend steals your fiancée (yeah, it happened to me!) when the nice looking girl you bring home flirts openly with you ex, and your ex takes a liking to your new friend, seriously that is messed up. Dear readers these things do happen not just on tv but in real life. People with bad intentions walk into your life and mess it up, but you and I should be the guards of our gate. My advice to you and to myself is: learn from your mistakes don’t trust people easily and don’t open the doors to your heart or house to just anybody. Keep your boyfriends, ex – boyfriends or male friends away from certain sleazy women who have no respect for themselves or for your friendship.
I have vowed to myself:
1) To never again give my friendship away so easily but to try & test the person for a while before I call them a “friend”
2) To be incredibly selective when it comes to bringing people to my home or introducing certain people to my group of friends.
3) To be extremely cautions when choosing my friends.
I hope my experience serves as a mirror and you wise up and understand that there are evil people out there, roaming the streets like predators looking for meat, who would take away your friends, money, job, boyfriend or husband in the blink of an eye, and without any conscious though or consideration what so ever, BEWARE. Therefore, we must become like warriors standing at the front gate of our lives. Listen to your heart and intuition when you first meet someone, and do not let any Tom, Dick and Jack enter your precious kingdom. Put people to the test and only keep those who have proven their worth, loyalty and character. If a person if worthy of you, be it friend, colleague or boyfriend, you need to give it time and have your eyes very open for signs and attitudes. Only surround yourself with people of good character, who will be an asset to your life and not a hindrance , who are positive & loyal.
Learn from your mistakes and move on to better and greater things with the added value of wisdom through experience.
- Chapter 4: Dynamics of groupism and the idea of friendship (alphaquest86.wordpress.com)
- Ethical Wisdom For Friends (psychologytoday.com)
- Hugging Me Today (lucymaselli.com)