Ok, so here I Go…

I realise that the first intention in creating this blog was to make you, the reader part of my journey of self development. I have not quite achieved this, the reason being that is hard, it is very hard to open up and display yourself naked to the world. And you may ask “then why do it in the first place” and my simple answer is …. that I need to open up to someone. My friends and family don’t really know much about me, I’m kind of a loner when it comes to feelings and sharing emotions, I keep my feelings, pain and disappointments to myself.

So I am now writing from my heart, and as I write my heart hurts and my tears drop so fast one after another. I feel like a stranger unto myself. But somehow I want to find my way, my path, my mission, my passion. Since I was a little girl I’ve had three passions: writing, acting and dancing. It is so hard to let people in and this is really the reason why I started this blog, to serve as a form of catharsis and to feel that I’m not alone, that somewhere in this world people read me, and may be they relate to me.

I will now share a little about myself. I have a degree in English Literature and one in History. I always lie about my age because I have been blessed to have a wonderful DNA and I look half my age :_)

I have been meaning to write my first book in like forever and I always end up creating a million of excuses to post pone it, I can’t do this any more. My story, a story, is crying out to be born from my womb. Right now about 9 of my favourites novels are scattered on my table, all of them opened on the first chapter. You see, right now I feel like is the right time to start writing and it feels really scary. I don’t know why I’m so scared to write, what I’m afraid of – may be I’m afraid of the things I will uncover about myself, perhaps it is change that I’m afraid of, or may be I’m simply afraid I’m a shitty writer. Who knows! I certainly don’t but one thing is for sure, I won’t let this uncertainty and void feeling in my stomach stop me from writing.

I will gather all my courage and finally start to write.

I realise this post sounds like a confession or a semi stream of consciousness or something weirdly disjointed; and for that I apologise. I am simply trying to find my way as an artist and woman in the modern times, a city woman who has lost and suffered a lot.

I will keep you posted on my novel/writing development and every day I will disclose a little more about myself but please bear with me.

 

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6 thoughts on “Ok, so here I Go…

  1. This post actually sounds awesome and I think the reason you are so scared to begin writing is because you are a true writer. All true writers are terrified to begin! I don’t know why it is that way, but it is. It took me years before I started writing my first novel, but it had to be done. I felt just like you, like something inside of me was crying out to be born.

    Very excited for you! You are on an incredible journey πŸ™‚

    1. Wow I can’t thank you enough for those words of encouragement. It is truly a scary path but a fascinating one none the less and it feels kind of lonely when you first start. Really thanks from my heart for those words.

      It is an incredible journey, I can sense it, although I feel like a baby starting to walk πŸ™‚

  2. Good luck with writing your book … I believe that once you actually get started you’ll see that need to complete it… its a journey well worth the time patience and effort…

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